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Tell Me A Story – Part 5

Hey everyone,

This is the last post for Tell Me A Story.  I might do something else in the future but for now I have a bunch of other projects that need some TLC.

 

Amber sat in the small closet.  She had managed to find an old bottle of wine at the funeral parlor and had crawled into the first space she could find.  Some part of her knew the cars had all gone and somewhere the service was going on, but that part was small.  The rest of her was drunk as can be and wallowing in self-pity.

“Hello?  Amber?”

In her haze she heard a voice calling her name.  She wondered if it would find her or if she should find it and giggled.

“There you are,” the voice said.  She saw William as he opened the door to the small room.  She giggled again.

“Poo, you found my hiding place.”

William smiled at her.  “I had help.  Now come on, your sister needs you.”

Amber slowly got to her feet and stumbled slightly.  “She is dead.  She never needed my help.”

William shook his head and grabbed her hand.  He led her outside and in the hallway she glanced in the mirror, trying to make sure she looked decent enough.  With a shock she realized there was no reflection of William.

**********

Kadin glanced helplessly at the priest.  Much to his chagrin the priest was sitting to the side, scratching his nose and staring at the cross of Jesus.  Super.

He turned back to the crowd, searching for the image of his wife but there was no one.  He made one last attempt to swallow the lump in his throat and coughed.

“Many of you…. Many of you know that Sarah was kind and generous.  She could see the good in everything.  Even me.  Even this town.

“I was with her, when she died.  Her last words were ‘I love you’.  There is something about a person at those last moments, something that reveals who they truly are.  And she was good to the core.  I want to be worthy of that goodness.

“I miss… I miss her so much, but I know she will watch over this town and send love as long as she exists in heaven.”

He could feel the lump getting bigger and he went to sit down.  The priest nodded and continued the sermon.  Kadin closed his eyes and imagined he could see Sarah.

“She misses you too,” Someone said.  He looked and saw William, smiling warmly.

“What the hell do you know about Sarah?  Don’t patronize me.”

William put both his hands up and whispered soothingly, “Easy now.  After the ceremony we need to talk.”

Kadin stared at the casket and tried to ignore the voices around him.  There was nothing to say to this man.  He did not know who William was but there was no reason to speak.

“Kadin, you cannot go on like this.  You will need to move on soon or lose Sarah forever.  You need to give up the ghost before it is too late.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Kadin asked, his voice rising a little higher and now even the priest was looking at him coldly.

William looked at him kindly.  “This is not real.  You don’t exist anymore.  You need to let go of this life and go home.  She is waiting for you.”

Kadin felt his breath catch and he stood up.  Everywhere he looked there were sympathetic eyes, and they seemed almost hollow.  Sarah’s family had pale skin but this had to be real, right?  He was not dead!

“Kadin it is ok.  Tell my sister I say hi.”  Amber came up behind him.  Her face was streaked with tears but she held her chin up and back straight.

He looked at her, pleading with her to tell him everything was real, that she was real.  He walked up to the woman who looked so much like his lost love and kissed her.  He willed it to be real, willed those feelings to rush back to him.  Pain meant he was alive.  The touch of her lips, the bite of his teeth, it was real and solid.

As he pulled away from Amber he caught a glimpse of them in the window.  Only she showed.  He looked around at the crowd of people in the church, but in the mirrored image only the woman showed.

His screams filled the room and Amber fell to the floor sobbing.

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Tell Me A Story – Part 4

Hey everyone.  Welcome to Tell Me A Story.  What is it?  Well you tell me what happens next in the comments!  For more info, check out my post.  Don’t forget to read the one by Amber West!

*********

Amber looked out the window for William, but no one was walking around. She shook her head, wondering how he got to his car and out of the parking lot so quickly. It was almost time to go from the viewing to the ceremony location and she looked around for Aunt Meredith.

This particular relative was prone to get drunk and dance on a table no matter how serious the event. The last family gathering had almost turned into a disaster when the table collapsed. Thankfully the wedding cake had been saved and dear Sarah had just laughed it off. Amber probably would have had a fit.

Spying the woman near a coat closet, flask in hand, Amber walked over.

“Aunt Meredith, how are you?”

“Hic – Fine dear, how are you holding ‘hic’ up?” Meredith said, clearly not drinking water. “So sad ‘hic’”

“We should get you going. Who is driving you to the church?”

“Oh are you finally getting married? ‘Hic’ I am so happy for you! Will ‘hic’ there be music? I love to dance ‘Hic’. Excuse me!” Meredith hurried away, looking both happy and sick.

Amber felt ready to cry. It was bad enough her sister was gone but this was just insult to injury. She eyed the flask Meredith had dropped. Looking around her she took a wiff. Vodka. Could today get any worse? Oh, what the hell, she thought as she took a small sip.

**********

Kadin felt his blood boiling. He paced the small room and tried to calm down. He was not even sure why he was reacting this way. That man with Amber was a complete stranger but for some reason Kadin had the urge to just tear him apart. Every gut instinct screamed danger and there was no logical reason why. Even before he saw the man Kadin’s skin had begun to crawl and he felt a chill down his spine. Despite the anger he could still feel that unnatural cold feeling all around. What was happening to him?

This whole day was odd. Half the time he kept forgetting Sarah was gone and the woman in the room was his ex. It was even harder with the collage of pictures up. They even had the most recent photos of Sarah, taken during vacation. With Amber standing right by them the similarities were ridiculous.

It was amazing she was even being civil after what he had done. One of these days he would make the time to apologize. For now he needed to just hold it together. As he walked back into the main area he saw most of the people were headed out the door. The bearers were getting ready with the hearse and he felt his stomach flip. This was the last time he would be able to look at his wife, the last time he could say he loved her. His throat tightened. Hold it together, he told himself. After the speech you can go home. It’s almost over.

**********

The procession arrived at a little church in the middle of town. This was where he had grown up and they had settled down. God knows why, he had hated living here but something about the small town had called to Sarah. So they ended up settling in Kadin’s old family home after they had died.

It was when they were going over the legal documents after Sarah’s death that he discovered her last wishes were to keep the house on the lake. It did not matter that he wanted to sell it, Kadin would follow her wishes to keep it up. It was not his only property at least. He had actually included the lighter side of the story in his speech about her, how she saw the good in everything, the potential. She had even seen into his soul, seen the damaged angry man inside and soothed him.

When everyone was at the church he listened along. His cue to speak came and he stood next to the priest. He fought against the lump in his throat and looked for Amber, for the one woman who could help him. She was nowhere to be seen. Shit.

*********

Ok everyone, hope you enjoyed this latest post.  So tell me, where is Amber and what is she doing?  And anyone who wants to decide what Kadin looks like feel free to post a link to your favorite man candy.

See you in a week!

Twilight Challenge – Dusk Recap

The Twilight Saga (film series)

The Twilight Saga (film series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Original

Word Count – 119227

Page Count – 181

Chapters – 25

Times Edward is mentioned – 437

Times Cullen is mentioned – 95

Times Bella is mentioned – 231

Times Swan is mentioned – 16

 

Re Write

Word Count – 58,028

Page Count – 135

Times Edward is mentioned – 168

Times Cullen is mentioned – 51

Times Bella is mentioned – 96

Times Swan is mentioned – 10

 

I have lost all sanity.  I have been to the edge of the Abyss and due to a lack of balance I have fallen over.

The almost impossible has been done.  As you can see from the above statistics I have recreated the first book in the Twilight Saga to be more than it was.  It is interesting, there are better characters and there is more plot.  More than that, it is much shorter by half.

What have I learned?

Never take on such a challenge again.  While I have uncovered a few funny moments that had me laughing out loud…. Never again.  I have drowned in adjectives.  It was awful.

What is cool to see is how others see this newly written version.

The next step is to redo New Moon.  For that I need a new title, possibly Dark Moon.  In it I intend to not let Bella be a stupid ho bag.  Edward is missing but Jacob has a much better chance of being with the girl he loves.  The twist?  Bella is faced with a choice.  Someone must be punished for killing the other vampires and it is up to her to decide.  In this, not everyone wins and I am hoping to create some tension *gasp* God forbid.

One thing I plan on doing is taking a while off from posting.  Rather than post as I complete I want to take the time to change the plot and make sure everything is consistent.  No name changes half way through and no random points that don’t fit the whole theme.

I can promise that as I go along things are moving much fasted and there will be very little need for Eclipse with the exception of some chapter content here and there.  As per the challenge details I am limiting the saga to 3 books rather than 4 and each new book is much shorter.  Still terrible but less of it.

Enjoy.

Protected: Twilight Challenge – Dusk Chapter 17 – Consequences

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Protected: Twilight Challenge – Dusk Chapter 16 – An Impasse

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Flash Fiction Friday – Words Unsaid

Good morning and Happy Friday!

Been awhile since my last Flash Fiction so today I am adding a song to make it up to my faithful followers.

This song is fantastic and I love the group.  Feel free to start the music and then read the story.

*******

The dripping of coffee woke him and the smell was like perfume.  The sun was shining and even the cats seemed content to just sit there rather than beg to be fed.

She was sleeping still.  Even in slumber she looked worried.  Bags were under her eyes and tears still crusted on her cheeks.  Last night had not been good.  Kyle still was not sure what went wrong.  One minute they were laughing and then the switch.  She refused to get help.  I am just moody, she would say.  It happens.

Bullshit, he thought.  But what was so damn bad?

*******

Beth knew she should get up but sleep was hard enough as it was.  She wanted those last few moments.   She had not told him about the job yet.  He had enough going on.  Just like he did not need to know about the baby yet.

Not planned, but she was pretty sure the signs were there.  She did not know how to tell him and the last thing she wanted was to force him to stay.  As it was he was distant and she did not know why.  They spent so much time not saying anything.  The door closed.

*******

He tried not to disturb her as he left.  Kyle wondered why she was being so weird but the less he did to set her off the better.  Not like she gave him any ideas on what to do.  Sometimes women were just crazy and unless she spoke up there was no reason to get worked up.  He knew Beth would speak up when she was ready.  For the moment he was content planning out a nice evening out.

They had not gone out to the movies so there was that.  Anything had to be better than the baby movie.

*******

Beth walked into work.  She had new shoes on.  You know what they say, new shoes new attitude, she thought.  Or at least I feel tall.  That was always nice.

She debated texting Kyle but decided not to.  Today was supposed to be less hectic and the last thing she wanted was to mess that up for him.  Instead she debated what to do about dinner.  Money was tight but she was sure there was some frozen chicken and veggies to be made.  That might be nice.

Later that day came her monthly gift.  No wonder I’m crabby, she thought.

The End

What did you think?  How often do you feel like you are over reacting to nothing, or letting hormones drive you nuts?